My Butts Hurts

For the past two months I've noticed alot of pain after I've been sitting on the sofa or when I need to get up from a chair. I thought maybe it was that I had been sitting too long or that maybe I just needed to give my muscles a workout. Apparently not. The pain is getting so bad that you'll rarely find me without a grimace when sitting on something soft. So maybe it's Coccydynia? It's supposed to be very common after childbirth. Hmmm. I just dread going to the doctor's and making an appointment because they'll ask me what the reason is.

Bitchy receptionist(she really is one of the town's top bitches): Yeah, so what's your problem that you need to see him?
Me: My butt hurts! (*Thinks: But at least it's not as ugly as your face... mwahahaha.)

I haven't forgotten about this place but rather life and its chaotic elements have caught up with me. Like what? Magnus has several back and side teeth coming in and is going through a terrible, "I am not going to eat a thing and I'm going to have diarrhea and you're going to like it!" phase. Needless to say my postpartum hormonal changes are not the only reasons for my hairloss. Our cat has also decided that he wants to show me how great he is at catching mice outside by bringing them in the house! As we all know cats like to play with their food before consuming it so of course these mice are still half alive... what? You figure it out - Mice running around the kitchen with two kids in the house? Yes. It's a trade off though. Our cat never shits in the house (we don't even own a litterbox) because he's more of an outdoor cat and we can go away for a couple of days without having to worry that he's starving. (Yes we leave dry food and water out, we're not completely cruel.) The move is also draining all my time an energy from anything remotely recreational. I fucking hate living out of boxes. Sometimes I want to smack Ørjan for packing up all my stuff before I even had a chance to organize it. I still haven't got my period yet which is scaring me. The past couple of days I've been slightly moody and had very light cramps so I'm hoping it'll show up any day now. Especially since I have an appointment next Friday for my IUD!

Ach. Ugh. Meh.

Iron helps us play!

You'd think I would have known better, but I suppose I was just too tired to even consider the idea. The past week has been incredibly draining and I hadn't been eating properly. Since Ørjan was working overtime and they were providing them with dinner, I didn't really see the point of making anything and stuck to soups and some frozen veg. I was also skipping my daily vitamin cocktail since my routine was off. I wasn't sleeping, was stressed out with the kids, and wasn't eating properly. On top of it all I just finished my period a couple of days ago. I already have a history of anemia due to my close pregnancies, why the hell didn't I consider it this time? I just thought it was due to the lack of sleep during the past week. Falling asleep around 12am and waking up at 7am, and tending/nursing Sophie a few times during the night seemed manageable, but this was just crazy fatigue and I couldn't understand it.

For the past three days I have been so tired that I honestly thought I might be pregnant again. The intense fatigue, the dizziness and headaches, and the abdominal pain were hints to pregnancy, but since I had just finished my period and we hadn't had sex it just didn't seem right. I was wanting to nap all day, and when I'd wake up from a nap, I'd fall back asleep. I had no energy whatsoever and was very irritable. (Bless Ørjan for having patience with me.)

Why can I be so dumb sometimes. Why do I always neglect my health to the point where I can't function? Thank god Ørjan bought some incredible iron tablets last month. I took a few of them with juice and already feel better.

Universe:3 - Candace:0

Happy Earth Day! It's incredibly gorgeous outside and I'm confident that we won't have another freak snowfall. The weather is warmer, the sun is shining, and it doesn't become dark until around 11pm. Summer is on its way. This is probably the only positive thing I have to report today.

Yesterday morning I went to the doctor's for my birth control appointment. He was supposed to insert a copper IUD but it never happened. I took a routine blood and urine test just to make sure I wasn't pregnant. (OMG NO! We have been so careful because I can not risk getting pregnant for a third time within 3 years!) It came back negative, but apparently there were traces of bacteria and he was concerned I might have an UTI (urinary tract infection). I was told to come back the next day to see if my tests results did infact indicate an infection (bacteria was growing) and that if I had one he would just prescribe medication and give me the IUD at the same time. Ok... not a problem. I wanted to be safe as well.

So here I am half running and half walking to the healthstation (running because Ørjan was late coming home to watch the kids) and I tripped and fell! I ripped the knee of my pants, my right knee and leg were incredibly scraped up, and I heard a loud crack from my left foot. I was rushing to get to the doctor's for nothing because get this - it came back negative for an infection! At least he cleaned and bandaged my leg. Did I mention I got my period this morning? YES! OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOD! And IUD can be set in at any time (and is perfectly ok to be inserted during a period) but he said we should wait until near the end of it so that we could better monitor if there is any heavy bleeding afterwards. I completely understand but what the hell? Is the universe against me being on birth control? I've already been cursed with being so fucking fertile (My period returned 6 weeks after I gave birth to Magnus, and 3 weeks after I gave birth to Sophie) and there is no way in hell that I am going to risk getting pregnant a third time. Obviously we're using condoms but we both hate them and are both wanting forms of birth control. Maybe all of this is just too much information for some of you, but this is my reality. Two kids in two years and fabulous fertility - I WANT BIRTH CONTROL NOW! Obviously the breastfeeding exclusively isn't an option because despite doing it with both my children my period returned so quickly.

Ach. I'm just so frustrated. I got my period, I fell and scraped my knee and leg, and I still don't have any birth control. Come on universe - Give me a break already!

Exit 75, I'm still alive.

I haven't had the chance to post anything as of lately due to several reasons. Obviously life can be busy, but when your back goes out and you end up sick and having to take care of two sick kids it's pure chaos. With our house being sold and our constant hunt for a new place we have very little time for ourselves. Here's what you might have missed...

Last Thursday my already aching back went out. I thought I could just shrug it off with a good night's rest but it just wasn't the case. As the weekend approached it became increasingly more painful to the point where I couldn't even turn two degrees to the left. I spent a couple of days in bed and had to ask Ørjan to take a few days off from work to help me out. All that terrible twisting, bending, and lifting combined with my post-partum bekkenløsning had put me out of commission. Not only was I crying due to the pain, I was also feeling incredibly guilty that I couldn't even pick up my kids. It also didn't help that all three of us were sick. Thank god that Ørjan has some patience. To top things off April hasn't been the slowest month either. On the days that I've wanted to rest and recooperate I've had to shock myself awake and drag my exhausted ass out the door.

The Schedule:

08.04.01 - Magnus' & Sophie's pediatric appointments (11:00)
08.04.01 - Appointment with my midwife (birth control) 12:00
08.04.01 - Magnus' & Sophie's doctor appointments (14:00)
08.04.04 - Kids' Dental Group @ healthstation (13:00)
08.04.05 - Family Meeting @ healhtstation (12:30)
08.04.05 - Meeting with the realtor
08.04.11 - Family meeting (11:00)
08.04.12 - House viewings
08.04.16 - House appraisal
08.04.21 - Doctor's appointment for birth control (09:50)
08.05.14 - Magnus' & Sophie's pediatric appointments

I'm sure there was more that I wanted to post but I'm just too tired right now. I'll come back and edit this later.

How to feed happiness

Some quick news because it's actually good news and not a complaint: Magnus is walking! He's been walking around the house for over a month if he can hold on to something, and he could walk when we'd hold his hand, but now he's walking on his own! He can only walk 1-2 metres before he wants to sit and crawl, but still, we're so proud. You should see Ørjan's face - such pride.

This morning and afternoon were definite struggles, but at least I felt somewhat relieved during the evening. Ørjan took Magnus for a couple of hours which meant I had independent time to do whatever I wished. I probably should've napped but instead I made sushi. We haven't had it for so long and it was an instant pick-me-up. It was great because it meant I didn't really have to do much cooking and there wasn't much to clean up afterwards. The only drawback is that Magnus was incredibly interested in grabbing what we were eating. Oh well.

Oh, and since I didn't mention it in my earlier posts, I'm starting to get slightly paranoid that this baby might come earlier than anticipated. Maybe I'm just feeling more and seeing more signs since I've gone through all this before (just 9 months ago!) but I have this strange feeling that the baby will be here soon. It would be funny if I went into labour before my next ultrasound on Monday. I most likely won't, but you never know.

I am so exhausted. I have no idea how I'm going to handle both Magnus and the next baby at the same time. I feel so guilty that my time is going to be spread so thinly.

On top of everything else, my meds for my left breast make me even more sleepy - but I HAVE to take them. What frustrates me so much is that this is the same breast that had an infection (mastitis) only weeks after giving birth. Immediately I noticed the milk production from the left side decreased and Magnus wouldn't take it so often. I hope whatever I have/had doesn't completely destroy my milk production in the upcoming weeks.

Hicks, heartburn, and a heavy stomach

I've reached 34 weeks. Someone needs to get this baby out of me soooooon! This pregnancy has definitely been more trying and more exhausting than when I carried Magnus. I don't have too much to say because I'm sure it would only be complaining at this point. I've been up since 4 but that's quite normal - The usual need to pee and strange hunger pangs don't afford me too many options. Tonight I woke up with excrutiating heartburn (when I sat up I actually vomitted and felt the acid in my mouth) and Ørjan thought it was labour. HA! If only!

Must try to sleep. So tired but unable to sleep. And why do I feel so hungry? Damn. Only a few more weeks and this will all be over. I'll have an empty stomach, I'll be back to breastfeeding, and I won't feel like a house on legs.

Room to complain

Why does this have to happen every time I have an appointment somewhere? This afternoon I'll be seeing my midwife (luckily) but I know the remainder of the day will be a waste.

Last night was not a dream at all. For the past couple of days I've noticed a couple very large lumps on my left breast. They appear to be blocked milk ducts and I'm not quite sure how to treat them since I'm no longer producing milk. (Although I'll be back in production in only a few short weeks.) I've tried hot compresses, massaging the painful lumps, and have even tried extracting milk or fluids the old fashioned way but nothing seems to work. It's incredibly painful moving around especially when I need to bend or reach for something... and sleeping? Oh god. I have to sleep on my back trying to push my left boob to hang on its side so that some pressure will be relieved. Sleeping on my back at this point is incredibly uncomfortable as well, even if I do prop my head up with several pillows to avoid acid from spewing back up my esophagus. When I'm on my back the baby likes to creep up and position itself under my ribs making it more difficult to breathe and more difficult to stand up during the night when I have to make those trips to pee.

Anyhow... last night. Magnus woke us up at 1:00 with such a loud scream. Rarely does this kid scream (unless he's fallen and hurt himself or had a bad dream) but he chose to last night. Neither of us could do anything to stop him. We tried feeding, giving fluids, singing, rocking, walking him, playing music... and nothing worked. I was beginning to fear the worst that perhaps he had some kind of stomach bug or that he had somehow injested poison without us knowing (I know, crazy, right?) but as soon as he caught view of our cat the laughing and smiling kicked in. I can't even remember what time we managed to fall asleep but it wasn't easy. Magnus kept kicking and moving in his sleep. Poor Ørjan has to wake up for 6 to go to work... he slept in an extra hour and decided to be late.

Now I should also mention that this next part will be a complaint about the weather. WHAT THE FUCK! On the days when I have an appointment (AND NO CAR!) and have to walk to get there, why does this horrible weather have to start? Either it's a snow storm, it's raining like hell, or it's hurricane-like winds could literally pick me up and toss me - bad weather always comes on the days I need to be out.

I feel miserable this morning. Thank god my appointment is booked for 12:30 and Ørjan can watch Magnus while I go to my appointment. I need a break. And some breakfast. I probably won't manage either of these things until after I come home. Ugh.

[EDIT] Appointment with the midwife went well enough despite the fact that this is the second time I've had traces of blood in my urine test. Bjørg also sent me up to see the doctor to check out my lumps and now I'll be on medication because they are so deep and inflamed.

// The major lump is gone but it was not pretty. I decided to poke a tiny hole into one (since a tiny white head appeared) and oh jeezs, a very digsuting pus-filled niagara falls came pouring out. I spent an hour last night just trying to get most out and it's still not fully drained! At least my meds seem to be helping. I am so relieved because last night it wasn't painful to sleep at all. (I didn't have to worry about my left boob being squished!)

Ugh, I've been sick. Thanks alot, Ørjan.

Still holding on to something strong

I will be 30 weeks pregnant next Monday. It's strange to think that I can be so far along but if I'm realistic it makes perfect sense. We have a due date for February 20th, 2008 (which happens to be the date they gave us for Magnus just a year ago!) which, well, sort of means we got busy the same date as in 2006. Some people ask us if we planned this (This was not a planned pregnancy!) but now I see that it's not the end of the world. Infact, it's great for Magnus because I see that he really needs a playmate. He's always been an active baby and now that he's walking and crawling around the house (still only 9 months!) he's constantly disrupting us from what we were trying to do. Whether it be making dinner, cleaning the house, trying to organize, or even sit down and eat dinner, Magnus is all over the place looking for attention or playtime. Unfortunately for him despite having a cat that appears affectionate towards Magnus, our cat is more interested in sleeping than playing with an overly-active infant. Since I'm home during the day you can guess what my mornings and afternoons are filled with.

So, at almost 30 weeks I can't make too many complaints. This pregnancy has been considerably easier than when I carried Magnus. I have a few different aches and pains, I seem to be gaining a bit more weight (EVERYWHERE), but I'm less scared and anxious since I did this same thing only last year. A worry that I do have this time around is my pregnancy anemia. Since this second pregnancy was so close to the first my reserve for everything needed was next to null. Honestly some days I feel so tired from the vitamin-supplement cocktails that I have to take. I have to take more vitamins, eat more food, and try to get more rest... Not quite sure that one actually happens though. I haven't had a day-time nap in a very long time due to Magnus' energy reserve. All my tests always come back in normal ranges so I'm not too worried about this next child being like Magnus (SGA - small for gestational age: he was only 2kg) but since I now have a history of it, and with this pregnancy being close to my first, it could be very likely. You'd think that it would be reasurring to have so many appointments and ultrasounds, but sometimes the constant monitoring just worries me more.

Anyhow, time to go. Lucky for me Magnus has been sleeping so well this morning! Unlucky for me is the fact that I have to go spend the next 8 hours doing for prep for our party tomorrow.